Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

(Tina Meador) #1

tothestore. To my surprise apartofmewasdisappointed!I wantedtoget the milk. Herlovehad
programmedmetosayyes.Eventothisdaywheneversheasksmetogotothestoreandgetmilkapart
ofmehappilysaysyes.


Ipersonallyexperiencedthisinnertransformation.Heracceptanceofmygrumblesandappreciationofme
whenIreturnedhealedmyresistance.Fromthattimeon,asshepracticedassertiveasking,itwasmuch
easierformetorespondtoherrequests.


Pregnant Pause


Oneofthekeyelementsofassertiveaskingistoremainsilentafteryouhaveaskedforsupport.Allowyour
partner toworkthroughtheir resistance.Becarefulnotto disapproveofhisgrumbles. Aslongasyou
pauseandremainsilent,youhavethepossibilityofgetringhissupport.Ifyoubreakthesilenceyoulose
yourpower.


Womenunknowinglybreakthesilenceandlosetheirpowerbymakingcommentslike:


*"Oh,forgetit."


*"Ican'tbelieveyouaresayingno.Idosomuchforyou."


ingthemessagethatyourneedisjustasgreatashis.Thenaskagain.


Herearesomeexamples:


"Idon'thavetime.Can'tyoudoit?" "I'malsorushed.Wouldyoupleasedoit?"Thenremainsilentagain.


"No,Idon'twanttodothat." "Iwould really appreciateit. Willyou pleasedoitfor me?" Then remain
silentagain."I'mbusy,whatareyoudoing?" "I'm busy too. Will you please do it?" Then remain
silentagain."No,Idon'tfeellikeIt." "Idon'tfeellikeiteither.Wouldyoupleasedoit?"Thenremainsilent
again.


Noticethatsheisnottryingtoconvincehimbutissimply,matchinghisresistance.Ifheistired,don'ttry
toprovethatyouaremoretiredandthereforeheshouldhelpyou.Orifhethinksheistoobusydon'ttry
toconvincehimthatyouaremorebusy.Avoidgivinghimreasonswhyheshoulddoit.Remember,youare
justaskingandnotdemanding.


Ifhecontinuestoresistthenpracticesteptwoandgraciouslyaccepthisrejection.Thisisnotthetimeto
sharehowdisappointed youare.Beassuredthatifyoucanletgoatthistime, hewillrememberhow
lovingyouwereandbemorewillingtosupportyounexttime.


Asyouprogressyouwillexperiencegreatersuccessinaskingforandgettinghissupport.Evenifyouare
practicingthepregnantpauseofstepthree,itisstillnecessarytocontinuepracticingstepsoneandtwo.It

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