andeverythingwillbefine.
ThislessonisdifficultforwomenbecauseonVenusoneofthegoldenruleswasnevertoabandonafriend
when she wasupset. Itjust doesn't seem loving to abandon her favorite Martian when he is upset.
Becauseshecaresforhim,awomanwantstocomeintohiscaveandofferhimhelp.
Inaddition, sheoftenmistakenly assumesthatifshecouldask him lotsofquestionsabouthowheis
feelingandheagoodlistener,thenhewouldfeelbetter.ThisonlyupsetsMartiansmore.Sheinstinctively
wantstosupporthiminthewaythatshewouldwanttobesupported.Herintentionsaregood,butthe
outcomeiscounterproductive.
Bothmenandwomenneedtostopofferingthemethodofcaringtheywouldpreferandstarttolearnthe
differentwaystheirpartnersthink,feel,andreact.
Why Men need Their Cave
Mengointotheircavesorbecomequietforavarietyofreasons.
1 .Heneedstothinkaboutaproblemandfindapracticalsolutiontotheproblem.
2 .Hedoesn'thaveananswertoaquestionoraproblem.Menwerenevertaughttosay"Gee,Idon'thave
ananswer. Ineedtogointomy caveandfindone." Othermenassumeheisdoingjustthatwhenhe
becomesquiet.
3 .Hehasbecomeupsetorstressed.Atsuchtimesheneedstobealonetocooloffandfindhiscontrol
again.Hedoesn'twanttodoorsayanythinghemightregret.
4 .Heneedstofindhimself.Thisfourthreasonbecomesveryimportantwhenmenareinlove.Attimes
theybegintoloseandforgetthemselves.Theycanfeelthattoomuchintimacyrobsthemoftheirpower.
Theyneedtoregulatehowclosetheyget.Whenevertheygettooclosesoastolosethemselves,alarm
bellsgooffandtheyareontheirwayintothecave.Asaresulttheyarerejuvenatedandfindtheirloving
andpowerfulselfagain.
Why Women Talk
Womentalkforavarietyofreasons.Sometimeswomentalkforthesamereasonsthatmenstoptalking.
Thesearefourcommonreasonsthatwomentalk:
1 .Toconveyorgatherinformation.(Thisisgenerallytheonlyreasonamantalks.)
2 .Toexploreanddiscoverwhatitisshewantstosay.(Hestopstalkingtofigureoutinsidewhathewants
tosay.Shetalkstothinkoutloud.)