sourcesof his discontent. The following is alistofcommon communication mistakes women make in
relationtoaman'sprimaryloveneeds.
Mistakeswomencanmakemandoesn'tfeelloved
1 .Shetriestoimprovehisbehaviororhelphimbyofferingunsolicitedadvice.
1 .Hefeelsunlovedbecauseshedoesn'ttrusthimanymore.
2 .Shetriestochangeorcontrolhisbehaviorbysharingherupsetordoesn'taccepthimasheis.
2 .Hefeelsunlovedbecauseshesharesnegativefeelings.(ItisOK tosharefeelingsbutnotwhenthey
attempttomanipulateorpunish.)
3 .Shedoesn'tacknowledgewhathedoesforherbutcomplainsaboutwhathehasnotdone.
3 .Hefeelstakenforgrantedandunlovedbecauseshedoesn'tappre-ciatewhathedoes.
4 .Shecorrectshisbehaviorandtellshimwhattodo,asifhewereachild.
4 .Hefeelsunlovedbecausehedoesnotfeeladmired.
5 .Sheexpressesherupsetfeelingsindirectlywithrhetoricalquestionslike"Howcouldyoudothat”
5 .Hefeelsunlovedbecausehefeelsshehastakenawayherapprovalofhim.Henolongerfeelslikethe
goodguy.
6 .Whenhemakesdecisionsortakesinitiativesshecorrectsorcriticizeshim.
6 .Hefeelsunlovedbecauseshedoesnotencouragehimtodothingsonhisown.
Justaswomeneasilymakemistakeswhentheydon'tunderstandwhatmenprimarilyneed,menalsomake
mistakes. Men generally don't recognize the ways they communicate that are not respectful and
unsupportivetowomen.Amanmayevenknowthatsheisunhappywithhim,butunlessheunderstands
why she feelsunloved andwhatshe needs hecannotchange hisapproach. Throughunderstandinga
woman'sprimaryneeds,amancanbemoresensitivetoandrespectfulofherneeds.Thefollowingisalist
ofcommunicationmistakesmenmakeinrelationtoawoman'sprimaryemotionalneeds.
Mistakesmenmake shedoesn'tfeelloved
1 .Hedoesn'tlisten,getseasilydistracted,doesn'taskinterestedorconcernedquestions.
1 .Shefeelsunlovedbecauseheisnotattentiveorshowingthathecares.
2 .Hetakesherfeelingsliterallyandcorrectsher.Hethinkssheisaskingforsolutionssohegivesadvice.
2 .Shefeelsunlovedbecausehedoesn'tunderstandher.
3 .Helistensbutthengetsangryandblamesherforupsettinghimorforbringinghimdown.