Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

(Tina Meador) #1

sourcesof his discontent. The following is alistofcommon communication mistakes women make in
relationtoaman'sprimaryloveneeds.


Mistakeswomencanmakemandoesn'tfeelloved


1 .Shetriestoimprovehisbehaviororhelphimbyofferingunsolicitedadvice.


1 .Hefeelsunlovedbecauseshedoesn'ttrusthimanymore.


2 .Shetriestochangeorcontrolhisbehaviorbysharingherupsetordoesn'taccepthimasheis.


2 .Hefeelsunlovedbecauseshesharesnegativefeelings.(ItisOK tosharefeelingsbutnotwhenthey
attempttomanipulateorpunish.)


3 .Shedoesn'tacknowledgewhathedoesforherbutcomplainsaboutwhathehasnotdone.


3 .Hefeelstakenforgrantedandunlovedbecauseshedoesn'tappre-ciatewhathedoes.


4 .Shecorrectshisbehaviorandtellshimwhattodo,asifhewereachild.


4 .Hefeelsunlovedbecausehedoesnotfeeladmired.


5 .Sheexpressesherupsetfeelingsindirectlywithrhetoricalquestionslike"Howcouldyoudothat”


5 .Hefeelsunlovedbecausehefeelsshehastakenawayherapprovalofhim.Henolongerfeelslikethe
goodguy.


6 .Whenhemakesdecisionsortakesinitiativesshecorrectsorcriticizeshim.


6 .Hefeelsunlovedbecauseshedoesnotencouragehimtodothingsonhisown.


Justaswomeneasilymakemistakeswhentheydon'tunderstandwhatmenprimarilyneed,menalsomake
mistakes. Men generally don't recognize the ways they communicate that are not respectful and
unsupportivetowomen.Amanmayevenknowthatsheisunhappywithhim,butunlessheunderstands
why she feelsunloved andwhatshe needs hecannotchange hisapproach. Throughunderstandinga
woman'sprimaryneeds,amancanbemoresensitivetoandrespectfulofherneeds.Thefollowingisalist
ofcommunicationmistakesmenmakeinrelationtoawoman'sprimaryemotionalneeds.


Mistakesmenmake shedoesn'tfeelloved


1 .Hedoesn'tlisten,getseasilydistracted,doesn'taskinterestedorconcernedquestions.


1 .Shefeelsunlovedbecauseheisnotattentiveorshowingthathecares.


2 .Hetakesherfeelingsliterallyandcorrectsher.Hethinkssheisaskingforsolutionssohegivesadvice.


2 .Shefeelsunlovedbecausehedoesn'tunderstandher.


3 .Helistensbutthengetsangryandblamesherforupsettinghimorforbringinghimdown.

Free download pdf