tobeamassgrowinginthespinalcordofhisneck.She
flew out to see him. The neurosurgeon said that the
proceduretoremovethemasscarrieda 20 percentchance
of leaving him quadriplegic, paralyzed from the neck
down.But withoutit he had a 100 percent chance of
becoming quadriplegic.
Theeveningbeforesurgery,fatheranddaughterchatted
aboutfriendsandfamily,tryingtokeeptheirmindsoff
what was to come, and then she left for the night.
HalfwayacrosstheBayBridge,sherecalled,“Irealized,
‘Oh,myGod,Idon’tknowwhathereallywants.’”He’d
madeherhishealthcareproxy,buttheyhadtalkedabout
suchsituationsonlysuperficially.Sosheturnedthecar
around.
Goingbackin “wasreallyuncomfortable,” shesaid. It
madenodifferencethatshewasanexpertinend-of-life
discussions. “I just felt awful having the conversation
with mydad.”But shewent through herlist.Shetold
him,“‘Ineedtounderstandhowmuchyou’rewillingto
gothroughtohaveashotatbeingaliveandwhatlevelof
being alive is tolerable to you.’ We had this quite
agonizing conversation where hesaid—and thistotally
shocked me—‘Well, if I’m able to eat chocolate ice
creamandwatchfootballonTV,thenI’mwillingtostay
alive.I’mwillingtogothroughalotofpainifIhavea
shot at that.’”
“I wouldneverhaveexpectedhim tosay that,”Block
said. “I mean, he’s a professor emeritus. He’s never
watchedafootballgameinmyconsciousmemory.The
wholepicture—itwasn’ttheguyIthoughtIknew.”But
theconversationprovedcritical,becauseaftersurgeryhe