developedbleedinginthespinalcord.Thesurgeonstold
herthatinordertosavehislifetheywouldneedtogo
backin. Butthebleedinghad alreadymadehimnearly
quadriplegic,andhewouldremainseverelydisabledfor
manymonthsandlikely forever.Whatdid shewant to
do?
“Ihadthreeminutestomakethisdecision,andIrealized,
he had already made the decision.” She asked the
surgeonswhether,ifherfathersurvived,hewouldstillbe
abletoeatchocolateicecreamandwatchfootballonTV.
Yes,theysaid.Shegavetheokaytotakehimbacktothe
operating room.
“IfIhadnot hadthatconversationwith him,”shetold
me,“myinstinctwouldhavebeentolethimgoatthat
momentbecause itjust seemedsoawful.AndIwould
havebeatenmyselfup.DidIlethimgotoosoon?”Or
shemighthavegoneaheadandsenthimtosurgery,only
tofind—asoccurred—thathewasfacedwith ayearof
“veryhorriblerehab”anddisability.“Iwouldhavefeltso
guiltythatIcondemnedhimtothat,”shesaid.“Butthere
was no decision for me to make.” He had decided.
Duringthenexttwoyears,heregainedtheabilitytowalk
shortdistances.Herequiredcaregiverstobatheanddress
him.He had difficultyswallowing and eating. But his
mind was intact and he had partial use of his
hands—enough to write two books and more than a
dozenscientificarticles.Helivedfortenyearsafterthe
operation. Eventually, however, his difficulties with
swallowingadvancedtothepointwherehecouldnoteat
withoutaspiratingfoodparticles,andhecycledbetween
hospitalandrehabilitationfacilitieswiththepneumonias