therigidscheduleofinstitutionallife.Shecouldn’thave
herownfurnitureoracocktailbeforedinner,becauseit
wasn’t safe.
Therewassomuchmoreshefeltshecoulddoinherlife.
“Iwanttobehelpful,playarole,”shesaid.Sheusedto
makeherownjewelry,volunteeratthelibrary.Now,her
mainactivitieswerebingo,DVDmovies,andotherforms
of passive groupentertainment. Thethings she missed
most,shetoldme,wereher friendships,privacy,anda
purposeto herdays.Nursinghomeshavecomea long
wayfromthefiretrapwarehousesofneglecttheyusedto
be.Butitseemswe’vesuccumbedtoabeliefthat,once
youloseyourphysicalindependence,alifeofworthand
freedom is simply not possible.
Theelderlythemselveshavenotcompletelysuccumbed,
however.Manyresist.Ineverynursinghomeandassisted
livingfacility,battlesrageovertheprioritiesandvalues
peoplearesupposedtoliveby.Some,likeAlice,resist
mainlythrough noncooperation—refusingthescheduled
activities or medications. They are the ones we call
“feisty.” It’s a favorite word for the aged. Outside a
nursing home, we usually apply the adjective with a
degreeofadmiration.Welikethetenacious,sometimes
cantankerous waysinwhich theHarryTrumansofthe
world assert themselves. But inside, when we say
someoneisfeisty,wemeanitin alesscomplimentary
way.Nursinghomestafflike,andapproveof,residents
who are “fighters” and show “dignity and
self-esteem”—untilthesetraitsinterferewiththestaff’s
priorities for them. Then they are “feisty.”