116The managerial style of the new millennium is one of
responsiveness and empathy. This is in part due to the demands of
the new workforce and in part due to the number of women in
management equaling their male counterparts. Regardless of the
origin of the emphasis, the impact is real. Recognize how someone
feels and you deal with the complete person.Break Old Habits of Responding
Developing coaching skills requires you to change your mind
as well as your people’s minds. Telling and doing behaviors must
switch to facilitating and observing ones. It’s more important to
discuss what your people can do than what they’re doing.
Like any behavior, one challenge to you is habit. Coaches
often respond to people in a knee-jerk fashion, reacting
as managers.A Three-Step Process to Monitor the “Knee-jerk”
Response Tendency
When someone does or says something that bothers you,
instead of blowing up, stop and take a deep breath. Then ask
yourself three questions:- “What part of this problem is the employee’s and what
part may be mine?”
For instance, have you ever been given “great” tickets to a
sporting or an arts event, only to discover that you are
much farther from the action than you imagined? You find
yourself sitting there seething inwardly about the injustice
of it all ... even when the seats are free!
The same situation can occur in the work environment
when team members’ attitudes or actions conflict with
your expectations. Someone’s choice of clothing may be
inappropriate for a client presentation. Someone’s phone
manner may seem at times grating or insensitive. Maybe
those observations are accurate and need to be addressed,
rather than waiting until there is a performance problem.
But first examine yourself — avoid a knee-jerk response!
You may find that the difficulty lies in your negative
expectations, not in the actual behavior.
Coaching, Mentoring and Managing3
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