The Coaching Role: Inspiring and Motivating3
- “What is the specific feeling that I’m choosing to feel
because of this action?”
Note the key word, “choosing.” You have the ability to
reject or accept feelings. As a coach, you have the
responsibility to do that! - “What is the root reason for my feelings?”
What lies at the core of your anger, frustration,
disappointment or bitterness? Does it really bear on this
specific action or does it have its roots in something
totally unrelated?
None of us approaches any experience totally free of
previous experiences. Each has a history he brings to a
task. Both positive and negative experiences have value,
and we learn from bad as well as good. But if we’re not
careful, we can also allow experiences from the past to
hinder or prevent positive responses in the present.
The truth is, a bad haircut really can prompt you to
respond more negatively to people and events than you
would have normally. An unexplained dent in your new
car can give you an excuse to sound curt to a client on the
phone. But, knowing that, you must evaluate your
responses — otherwise, your team members will begin to
feel like children waiting for mom’s or dad’s mood to
improve before approaching either of them with
something important.
Have you ever been upset and not really known why?
Someone asks, “What’s wrong?” and you say, “I don’t
know.” And you really don’t. You’re not in control. When
you ask yourself the three questions listed above, you’re
getting yourself under control so you can talk to people as
an adult and not as an irate parent trying to punish a child
for doing something wrong. Act ... don’t react.
Acceptance of Difficult Tasks
There’s one more outcome you can expect if you have
effectively assumed the role of coach. Your team members will
accept increasingly difficult tasks. This is a natural result of team
Act ... don’t react!