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The Philosophy of Confrontation: A Positive Approach to Negative Events ...
In your role as counselor, you will have to confront
inappropriate behavior. Confrontation is a tough means of
communication. If you aren’t an assertive person, you will
struggle at first. Plan, rehearse and do it. The following seven
elements of confrontation will strengthen your approach.
Team Oriented
A counselor will say, “Terry, we have a problem” instead of
“Terry, YOU have a problem” or “Terry, you ARE a problem” or
“Terry, I have a problem.” It is always “our” problem.
Collaboration is your goal because you operate within a team.
You’re working together toward common goals ... toward better
results.
Positive
Confrontation is not negative but rather a positive approach to
negative events. When you think of confrontation, remind yourself
that the StaffCoaching™ Model is based on the concept that we
are working together as a team. And as a team, we’re heading
toward common goals to get positive results. Performance
deficiencies are normal as people learn.
Behavior Focused
Focus on the behavior, not the person. When you confront
Terry, it’s not like a police officer saying, “Terry, you’re a bad
driver. You get a ticket.” It’s saying, as a coach, “Terry, we have a
problem. I’m going to work with you to help improve performance
in this (specific) area. We’re going to work it through because we
want to get the best results.” The idea is to help the team member
perform. A counselor improves nothing by saying, “I can’t believe
you blew it again.” As a StaffCoach™, you exist to build up, not
tear down. Behavior should be your first focus ... not the person! 169
The Counselor Role: Confrontation and CorrectionWhen you think of
confrontation, you
shouldn’t cringe.