he is the right person for her. By creating more distance
between them, she gives him a chance to experience how much
he loves her. Quite often a man feels how much he loves a
woman when he is directly faced with the possibility of losing
her.
Quite often a man feels his love
when he is directly faced with the
possibility of losing a woman.When she takes on the position of being uncertain, it frees
him to find the certainty in him. Quite often a woman can un-
knowingly prevent a man from feeling his desire to be with
her because she desires him too much. By being too interested,
she can actually take away his desire and make him less inter-
ested.
As she takes the time to feel uncertain, he will suddenly be-
come more definite about the relationship. Either he will realize
that she is the one for him or he will realize that she is not and
break off the relationship. In either case the result is greater
clarity for both of them.
WHY A MAN’S FEELINGS CHANGE
Often, a man will realize how important a woman is to him
after she rejects him. This is not necessarily because he has a
neurotic need to feel in control or because he has low self-es-
teem and seeks the love of a woman who doesn’t love him; it
is simply because he needs distance to feel his longing and
desire. When a woman gets too close to a man, he doesn’t have
the opportunity to feel his desire.
When couples move too quickly to experience intimacy, a
man doesn’t experience again and again how much he wants
152 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.