With this deeper understanding, a woman does not have to
reject a man to create the distance for him to fall in love with
her. If they have moved ahead too quickly, she can recognize
her mistake and begin moving back through the stages. By
slowly moving backward she can create the required distance
without having to break up or threaten to break up. While this
is not the ideal procedure, it is better than having to break up
again and again until she learns to allow love to grow more
slowly.
Perhaps the man wants get married and the woman is not
ready. As we have already discussed, he should just move
back to stage four and share his feelings in an intimate but
nondemanding manner. If this doesn’t work, he should slowly
move back through the stages, being careful not to hurt his
partner’s feelings. Remember that this is a very delicate situ-
ation and should be handled with great sensitivity and consid-
eration. Whether he is moving back or she is, reading Mars and
Venus on a Date together or getting the assistance of a relation-
ship counselor can make this process much easier.
154 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.