A man is like a magic genie. He comes out of his bottle with
the opportunity to fulfill a woman’s every wish. He goes back
into his bottle, however, when he gets the message that he
can’t succeed in making her happy. Instinctively he is most
interested in being successful. In relating to her, whatever will
make her happiest makes him happy.
If he detects that her mission is to please him, he will also
focus on how she can please him. He will automatically focus
on what he wants and clearly let her know. He will give her
ample opportunity to fulfill his wishes, wants, and needs. If
she wants to pursue him, he will happily sit back and passively
receive what she wants to give.
If a man detects that a woman’s
mission is to please him, he will also
focus on how she can please him.This is not what will really make her happy. When he senses
that she is not happy, she becomes less interesting to him and
the attraction lessens. By making a few adjustments in her ap-
proach to dating, a woman can create the ideal opportunity
for a man to become more interested in her. Even the right
man, without an opportunity to become interested, will lose
interest in a woman. He may stay interested, but his interest
is only lukewarm. He keeps looking for other women, even
when he is with her. There is a reason for this reaction. It has
nothing to do with the man or how interesting the woman
truly is. It has to do with how she responds to a man’s interest.
ACTIVE AND RECEPTIVE INTEREST
There are basically two kinds of interest: active and receptive.
Active interest is what we feel when we have a goal in
178 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.