Umm, I like when he touches me that way. I wonder how
he likes to be touched. Maybe I should touch him this way.
Wow, this is so nice. I feel so bad that I haven’t done anything
for him. What should I do for him?
Oh, don’t stop; that feels so good. But wait, I shouldn’t be
so selfish. What could I do to make him feel good? He is the
one who experiences the most tension.
This is really nice. I can just relax. But I can’t just relax—I
should do something to make him feel better. He has had a
long day; he doesn’t need to be doing this now.
Hmm, I wonder what he is going to do next. I wonder what
I should do so he will continue to like me.
Oh, that was perfect. I don’t deserve this. I haven’t done
anything. What can I do so he will think I am perfect for
him?
I feel so much better, but what can I do to repay him? I
wonder if there is anything else I can do for him.
I wonder what else he can do so well. I wonder why he
would want to be with me. I had better do something for
him.In each example, at first she is receptive, but then her mind
is filled with thoughts of how she can please him, or what he
might want, or what she should do to be worthy of his support.
Instead of just relaxing and fully receiving the massage,
186 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.