this woman shifts from being receptively interested to being
actively interested. Although it seems very loving, when a
woman shifts to active interest, it can actually prevent a man
from becoming fully interested in a woman; it can diffuse the
dynamic tension that makes him desire her more.
THE POWER OF ATTITUDE
A man’s interest in a woman can grow only when he feels
actively interested. On the other hand, his interest will tend to
decline slowly if he only feels receptively interested in her.
Likewise, when a man is actively interested in a woman, it
gives her an opportunity to explore her true and authentic re-
sponses to his pursuit. This authenticity makes her more at-
tractive to the right kind of guy for her. With this understand-
ing, dating can be the ultimate opportunity to explore and ac-
cess the potential of a relationship while having a good time.
If a woman pursues a man with active interest, it makes him
receptively interested. Although he likes receiving her interest,
warmth, and affection, it does not make him more interested
in her. Receptive interest just does not bring out the best in a
man. After a while he becomes interested in someone else, who
does promise to bring out the best in him.
EXAMPLES OF ACTIVE AND RECEPTIVE INTEREST
When a man is actively interested in a woman, he is thinking
about things like what he should do to impress her. When a
woman is receptive, she gives a man the confidence to take the
risks necessary to impress her. The more he takes risks to
achieve his goal, the more invested he becomes. Her receptive
interest actually empowers him.
THE DYNAMICS OF MALE AND FEMALE DESIRE / 187