of receptiveness and responsiveness is expressed through
flirting. When a woman flirts with a man, she is simply inter-
acting in a manner that expresses the feeling that maybe he
could be the man to make her happy, maybe he could be that
great guy she has been looking for her whole life, maybe he
could be capable of fulfilling her needs, maybe he could be the
one she would want to share a really special time with, or
maybe he could just be interesting or fun.
Flirting is like shopping. When a woman shops she has fun
checking out what she likes and does not like. She is not inter-
ested in proving herself to the salesperson. She freely tries
things on and she can easily leave without buying anything.
She has the freedom to look in other stores and return
whenever she pleases. This is the perfect attitude for flirting.
Flirting energy says, “I am looking and liking what I see. Maybe
you could be the one to make me happy.”
Pursuing is like going on a job interview. Sure, you may
want to get a feel for the company, but you are primarily trying
to impress the company so that it will hire you. While pursuing
a woman, a man instinctively puts forth his best and most
charming side for a woman to react to. Pursuing energy says,
“I could be the one to make you happy. Check me out. Look
at what I have done and what I can do.” As long as he is doing
the pursuing and she is responding in a receptive, playful, and
pleased manner, then the attraction has a chance to build.
A woman’s flirting responses to a man’s pursuit are very
exciting because a man is always looking for the opportunity
to take credit for a woman’s happiness. It compliments his
ability to make a woman happy. Being successful in the pursuit
is as much fun for him as it is fun for a woman to feel that
someone she likes is trying to make her happy.
196 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.