In each of these examples, the woman is particularly annoyed
by normal and automatic Martian behavior. Without an under-
standing of how women are different, men will continue to
sabotage relationships unknowingly by not calling and women
will continue to sabotage relationships by being upset with
the men when they do call.
When a man finally does call, a woman is either directly
combative or indirectly withholding. The radiant woman he
first met is no longer so warm, self-assured, and responsive.
She now appears mistrusting and rejecting, all characteristics
that make most men head for the hills.
Instead of having a nice warm conversation when they talk
again after a date, they both find their attraction diminishing
because of the woman’s reactive feelings. He feels interrogated
by her and that he is being treated unfairly, while she feels
neglected and mistreated.
When a man calls and is met with a rejecting or mistrusting
attitude, it is definitely not very encouraging to him. Just as
she wants a call to reassure her, he is looking for any encour-
aging messages that he can be successful in pleasing her.
A woman wants a call to reassure her, while a
man is looking for any encouraging messages
that he can be successful in pleasing her.It is easy to see that by not understanding the different
emotional needs of men and women during dating, we may
unknowingly turn off the other sex.
WHEN A MAN IS NEEDY
The truth is that if a man does appear needy, it will be a turnoff
to women. If he were to call the next day feeling inse-
238 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.