Just as living separately from our parents is an important
part of growing up, living separately from the opposite sex is
equally important. Finding fulfillment through living alone or
sharing a dwelling with friends of the same sex provides a
strong foundation for eventually being able to share a life with
someone of the opposite sex.
Just as living separately from our parents is an
important part of growing up, living separately
from the opposite sex is equally important.When we are not fulfilled through our work and friendships,
then we are attracted to someone who can fill us up rather than
someone we can share with. Instead of coming together to
overflow, we come together primarily to fill up. With this un-
derstanding it becomes clear that being fulfilled as a single
person is the basis of finding the right person and being suc-
cessful in marriage.
THE WISDOM OF GOING SLOWLY
This does not mean that a couple cannot succeed if they get
married early; it just means that there will be extra challenges.
If a couple are in doubt, then—particularly if they are in their
twenties—they should go slowly. The sad truth is that many
married couples are soul mates but they do not know it. The
process of dating and preparing to get married was in some
way missed, and as a result they never really find their soul
connection. This is not to say that once married they cannot
find it, but it is much easier to find by thoroughly going
through the five stages of dating.
Ultimately, taking the time to really get to know someone
is the secret of success. The old saying, “To know him is to
32 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.