When a woman reaches across to unlock a man’s door it
defeats the whole purpose of the date and confuses their roles.
Instead, if she just happily waits, appreciating his attentiveness
to her, there is a greater opportunity for the attraction to grow.
When a woman reaches across to unlock a
man’s door, it defeats the whole purpose of
the date and confuses their roles.A man is often so used to women reaching across and mak-
ing things comfortable and easy for him that when a woman
doesn’t reach over, he may be a little surprised and grumble
inside. He may think, Humph, I unlocked her door. Why didn’t
she unlock mine? He may even be momentarily distant and
aloof. Then he will realize, Oh, she didn’t reach across because
it is awkward and uncomfortable. Even more important, when
he looks over and sees that she is gracious, happy, and fulfilled,
he takes credit. Now he starts to feel a little proud: Yes, I
opened the car door, I am taking her on a date, and she is
pleased. As his positive feelings come up, the grumbles go
away and his attraction and respect for her go up.
WHY WOMEN GIVE TOO MUCH
A woman will tend to give too much in the beginning of a re-
lationship when she doesn’t understand how men think and
feel. A man hungers for the opportunity to make a woman
happy. It fulfills him to make her happy. Her happiness is his
happiness. This, however, is not the way women are. A woman
is not primarily fulfilled by making a man happy. A woman
needs to feel she is getting what she needs in a relationship.
Then she can freely and happily give her
STAGE ONE: ATTRACTION / 43