You could actually be dating your soul mate,
but in stage two of dating you may not know it.When a man moves into stage two, he can easily make the
mistake of thinking, If I am not sure, then I should keep looking
around and testing. He doesn’t realize how this tendency can
prevent him from ever finding the confidence that he is with
the right person.
Looking around and dating many women may be fine for
stage one, but in stage two this tendency is counterproductive.
This is the time for a man to temporarily stop dating others
and to start focusing his attention on his special partner. Stage
one is a time to meet and get to know a variety of people; stage
two is the time to focus on one. This is the time to make a de-
cision to give the relationship a chance.
WHEN THE GRASS LOOKS GREENER
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE
During this stage of uncertainty, the grass temporarily looks
greener on the other side of the fence. For a man, other women
may begin to seem more appealing. Men tend to have a visual
picture of their perfect mate, but very rarely is that picture ever
correct. It is a fantasy picture of a man’s ideal partner. Not
until he begins to experience real bonding with a woman in a
way that makes him feel successful will the power of that pic-
ture weaken and be replaced by a real person.
As long as a man has not experienced the reality of making
a woman happy, he will compare her with a fantasy picture.
He may begin to question his feelings: “I like her, but she is
not my picture.” As a man continues to know a real woman
and feel a real bond of desire, affection, and interest,
STAGE TWO: UNCERTAINTY / 47