Model Marriage
- Create a peaceful atmosphere with music, candlelights and good scheduling of
domestic events. - Give the phlegmatic spouse plenty of advance notice about upcoming events. If
there’s one thing they cannot stand, it is a sudden change of plans. For example,
he/she may have his/her heart set on sitting and watching TV and suddenly you
spring up a dinner party at the Joneses. They are generally slow to warm up to an
idea, and need to prepare themselves ahead of time. - Allow him to relax and don’t see the relaxation as laziness. It is an emotional
need. - Praise them––this is the key that can really turn your relationship. Start noticing
their fine qualities and begin expressing sincere praise and honest appreciation for
them. As you do, they will eventually begin to rest more securely in your
relationship and believe that you are serious about your words. - If you are married to a phlegmatic, remember to build up their self-worth and calm
their fears and give them the peaceful moments they need. They need you to build
their self-worth with loving re-assurance instead of criticizing and belittling them. - Reassure them that they are valuable human beings even if they do not accomplish
anything of great value according to the world’s standards. Your easy-going
spouse may never achieve the sort of success the world applauds. That is why
they need your applause so much. - Frequently remind them of their wonderful qualities; that people love them; that
they are loyal and hardworking. - Ask God to really help you believe in your phlegmatic husband or wife if you are
married to one because they may not seem big on the accomplishments but they
will have substance. - As you genuinely show that you believe in phlegmatics they will come to believe
in themselves and others will believe in them too. - Give loving motivation––Don’t nag at them.^6
Notes- Tim LaHaye, Opposites Attract(Eastbource: Kingsway Publications, 2000), 129 - 144.
- Florence Littauer, Personality Plus(Grand Rapids, Michigan: Baker Book House), 68 -
- Stormie Omartian, The Power of a Praying Wife (Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House
Pub.,1997), 1 - 20. - Ibid., 105 - 6.
- Ibid., 87 - 88.
- Ibid., 124 - 5.