Model Marriage
Q. She lacks initiative and purpose.
A. These are signs of a wife with a particular temperament––most likely a phlegmatic. The duty of her husband
is to compliment the effort of his wife. You will notice that where you also have some weaknesses she will also have
strengths. Marriage is about complimenting each other.
(Refer to Chapter 8 pg. 28-30, “Love in Marriage––Agape”; Chapter 25 pg. 106, The Key of Acceptance––
“Accept the “Masculinity” or “Femininity” of Your Spouse”).
Q. She is forgetful.
A. It is the duty of a husband to be tolerant of the weaker vessel and to protect her. Remind her of things she
is likely to forget, and help her to plan her life. After all, that is why she married you.
(Refer to Chapter 8 pg. 28-30, “Love in Marriage––Agape”; Chapter 25 pg. 104-106,“The Key of Acceptance- Accept the Temperament of Your Spouse”).
Q. She complains too much about household chores.
A. If she is complaining about work, it is likely that she is also not receiving much help. Try helping and
joining her to do the chores. As you do things together, you will notice that what she did not enjoy doing will become
a bit more enjoyable.
(Refer to Chapter 11 pg. 46, “Duties of the Husband––Protect and Care for Her (a)”).
Q. She is domineering.
A. She is likely to be choleric in temperament. Understand the strengths and weaknesses of a choleric wife and
what to do if you are married to one.
(Refer to Chapter 18 pg. 72-74, “Strengths and Weaknesses of a Choleric Wife”; Chapter 43 pg. 190,, “What to
do if you are married to a Choleric Husband or Wife”; Chapter 25 pg. 106, “The Key of Acceptance––Accept the
Temperament of Your Spouse”).
Q. She insists on doing things I have asked her not to do.
A. (Refer to Chapter 12 pg. 49, “Duties of the Wife––Submit to your Husband”).
Q. He does not take time to find out what is wrong with me when I am troubled.
A. This is an issue pointing to one of the greatest desires of every wife, that is, attention from her husband. As
stated earlier, it is the duty of every husband to let his wife feel happy at home. One of the ways to achieve this is
to let her feel accepted. There is no way a husband can let his wife feel accepted if he does not spend time with her
or factor her into plans he is making.
(Refer to Chapter 11 pg. 46, “Duties of the Husband––Protect and Care for Her (a)”).
Q. He puts me at the bottom of his list of priorities.
A. Furthermore, in order to develop a good Christian home, each person must think in terms of two and not
one (Philippians 2:3). The husband must plan his life in such a way that he spends quality time with his wife. The
issue is not about quantity, but quality. One can only achieve this by proper planning together and by eschewing
selfishness.
(Refer to Chapter 8 pg. 28-30, “Love in Marriage––Agape”; Refer to Chapter 11 pg. 43-47, “Duties of the
Husband).
Q. He is always instructing me. He says he is a commander.
A. In a marital home there is no commander. It is neither a battlefield nor a parade ground.
In marriage there are partners. There is a head and a helper––this does not call for a commander/subordinate
relationship.
Husbands must honour and respect their wives and treat them as the weaker vessels. Once this is being done, the
wife will not need to be ordered about. She will serve with love and contentment. If you have to order your wife
around to feel that you are the head, then you are failing woefully as a head. You can achieve that through providing
loving leadership and example.