Chapter 15

Coping with Your Husband's Relatives

Oneoftheproblemsoffamilylifeistheonecausebetweenthewifeand
her husband'srelatives.Some womendo nothave agoodrelationship
with their husband'smother, sisters, or brothers. Onthe one handthe
wifemaytrytodominateher husbandsothathewouldbotbe ableto
payanyattentioneventohismother,oranyotherrelativesandshemay
trytosowdiscordbetweenthem.Ontheotherhand,hermother-in-law
regardsherselfastheownerofhersonanddaughter-in-law.Themother
trieshard to hold onto her sonand iswatchful that the new woman
does not try to possess him fully. She may fabricate lies about her
daughter-in-law or find fault in her.

Suchanattitudemightbefollowedbymanyargumentsandevenoc-
casionalhostilities.The situationbecomes evenworse iftheyalllivein
thesamehouse.Eventhougharowmayoccurbetweentwowomen,the
real anguish and distress remains with the man in the middle.

The husbandistrapped inan argumentwherehecannottake sides.
Ontheonehandishiswifewhowouldliketohaveanindependentlife
withoutanyinterferencefromoutsiders.Henaturallyfeelsthathemust
supportherandmakeherhappy.Butontheotherhand,hethinksofhis
parents who havehelpedhimwith his life, education,andhave spent
theirownlivesinbringinghimup.Hefeelsthathisparentsexpecthim
tohelpthemintheirtimesofneedandthatitwouldnotbefairtoaban-
donthem.Besides.ifhehimselfwasinneedofsomething,whoelse,oth-
erthanhisparentswouldhelphimandhisfamily.Asaresult,hereal-
isesthathisbestandmosttrustworthyfriendsarehisparentsandrelat-
ives.So,thedilemmaforasensiblemaniseithertochoosethewifeand
abandon the parents or vice versa: but neither of these is possible.