If, during a conversation, the listener shoots a glance out of the corner of her
eye and combines the action with down-turned eyebrows and a furrowed
forehead, you can bet that she’s harbouring a critical, dismissive, or hostile
attitude.The eye dip............................................................................................
Averting your eyes in a downward direction is a deliberate action designed to
placate someone in a dominant position as well as an action designed to hide
your feelings. In the first instance, by avoiding another person’s gaze, you are
giving her permission to take the dominant role in the interaction.Dipping the eyes is also a way of demonstrating the reluctance you may feel
from entering into an interaction. By dipping your eyes you’re saying, ‘If you
want to connect with me, you have to make an effort.’If you think that acting submissively is a weak or negative role to play, recon-
sider. Acting submissively can often put you in a real position of strength.
And it’s sometimes the best way to get what you want. Also remember that,
in this manoeuvre, you choose to relinquish control.Other Ways Your Eyes Tell a Tale.................................................................
Because your eyes reveal your thoughts, feelings, and emotions – and you’ve
got loads of them – they move in lots of different ways to give away what’s
going on internally.Winkin’ and blinkin’..............................................................................
An engaging way to show a fun and friendly attitude is to wink. Winking also
intimates that whatever you’re talking about doesn’t need to be taken too
seriously. People who are sharing a secret also share a conspiratorial wink.Not all interactions are fun and friendly though, and one clue is how often the
participants blink. On average, people blink between six to eight to twenty
times per minute, depending on their state of mind and the activity in which
they’re engaged.86 Part II: Starting at the Top