Blinking longer than usual
If you’ve ever been in conversation with someone who, while speaking, blocks
you out by shutting her eyes longer than she normally would, you know how
annoying that action can be. Rather than blinking six to eight times per minute,
these people close their eyes in an unconscious attempt to remove you from
their sight. Some people find that closing their eyes helps them to think, focus,
and concentrate on what they’re saying. Or, it can be that they’re bored by
you or just aren’t interested in what you’re saying. Perhaps they feel superior
to you. Hard to believe, I know, but possible. Whatever the reason, it can be
interpreted as rude and off-putting.I was recently running a workshop on, you guessed it, body language. At one
point, one of the participants noted that occasionally I closed my eyes longer
than I normally did when I was speaking. Until he pointed this out I was unaware
of the habit. As I reflected, I noted that I would close my eyes fractionally
longer than normal when I was thinking and speaking at the same time, such
as when I was coming up with an answer to unanticipated questions. Shutting
my eyes subconsciously shut out potential distractions. Now that I’m aware
of the behaviour I can consciously control it. I find that, instead of speaking
while I’m thinking, looking at the questioner, pausing, and then speaking is a
more effective way of communicating with positive impact.Blinking more often than normal
Many factors influence your blinking rate. When you’re excited you blink more
than when you’re relaxing in front of the television or concentrating at your
computer. The main purpose of blinking is to keep the eye surface moist, clean,
and healthy. Under normal conditions, the blinking rate is between six to
eight blinks per minute. This can increase by four or five times when you’re
feeling pressure.Chapter 5: The Eyes Have It 87
Diana’s dipping eyes
Diana, Princess of Wales was exceptionally
adept at evoking empathy by dipping her eyes
and lowering her head. This gesture is particu-
larly appealing because it makes the eyes
appear larger and makes a woman seem inno-
cent and somewhat helpless. Both men and
women respond in a protective way as long as
they don’t think they’re being manipulated. Even
as a young child Diana used this gesture to good
effect. Although initially she may not have been
conscious of what she was doing, experience
taught her that when she used her eyes in this
fashion she engendered her public’s empathy.