Body Language

your feelings are intense it’s like putting an exclamation mark at the end of a
sentence. Intensity calls attention to itself. For moments of deep despair your
muscles relax, your body collapses on itself, and you look like a forlorn rag
doll. When you’re filled with passion and excitement your muscles tighten,
your sinews become taut, and your movements are forceful and concentrated.

Take yourself back to a time when your feelings were working at full tilt.
Freeze frame that image of yourself. What do you observe? You see that your
muscles are working in equal proportion to your feelings, mood, and attitude.

Signs of emotion being acted out intensely are

Fist-slamming

Sharp finger pointing/waving/wagging

Slouching

Stomping

Passionate hugging

Uncontrollable crying

Collapsing from exhaustion

As you read the words you may recognise the feeling. Act out the gesture and
the feeling intensifies. Add sound to the action, and the feeling becomes even
stronger.

People nodding in agreement, as well as those shaking their heads in dis-
agreement, often vocalise a humming sound. Someone who’s annoyed may
slam her fist and make a grunting sound as the fist hits the surface.

If you’re feeling tired and worn out you may sigh as your body collapses in
on itself. If you’re feeling energised you may make a short, sharp sound of
enjoyment.

If you want to intimidate someone, a low growl in the back of your throat
shows that you’re prepared to stand up and defend yourself.

At a tennis tournament, my daughter Kristina and I were invited to sit in the
sponsor’s box. Not only was the seating close enough to observe and enjoy
every gesture Rafael Nadal made, we were in prime seats for hearing every
thwack and grunt as he and his opponent, Andy Roddick, put their full body
force into their swings. As the strokes became stronger, the sounds became
louder, and the feelings intensified. We sat forward in our seats and when
Nadal eventually won the point, his supporters momentarily lifted them-
selves from their seats, their hands moving upwards in jubilation as they

Chapter 7: Take It From the Torso 111