Chapter 8
Arming Yourself
In This Chapter
Shutting people out
Letting someone in
Disguising anxiety
Sending signals through bodily contact
W
hether you’re crossing your arms as a protective shield or opening
them as a sign of welcome, the way you position your arms tells an
astute observer how you’re feeling.Certain postures elicit certain moods. Crossed arms hold your feelings in and
keep other people’s out. They show that you’ve set up roadblocks beyond
which no person dares travel. Stay with this position for too long and you
find yourself feeling shut off and negative. Unless, of course, you’re cold, in
which case holding your arms across your chest keeping the warmth in and
the cold out makes perfect sense.As for contact, touching can be a great tonic as long as you know who, when,
where, and how. Get touching right and the person you touch feels engaged
and connected; get it wrong and prepare yourself for a sharp smack.This chapter shows you how you can read arms signals, appear self-con-
trolled, and increase your influence through physical contact.Building Defensive Barriers ........................................................................
Any gesture that protects your body from an assault – be it real or imagined –
is a defensive barrier. Ducking your head, averting your body, even tightening
your lips and narrowing your eyes, are all examples of defensive behaviours.
As opposed to open gestures that welcome others in, these behaviours pro-
tect you and keep others out.