Arms crossed on your chest .............................................................
When you were a small child and feeling threatened and insecure, you may
have hidden behind your mother’s skirts or a solid piece of furniture. As you
reached pre-school age you may have created your own barrier by folding
your arms tightly across your chest. During your teen years you probably
relaxed your grip and added crossed legs to the equation in order to appear
more cool and less obvious.The crossed-arm position is common throughout the world and communi-
cates a defensive stance. Not only does it serve as a protective guard against
a possible attack, crossed arms also represent an inflexible position that tells
you that this person’s not budging. If a woman finds a man attractive, for
example, she keeps her arms in an open position, but she crosses her arms
over her chest with men she finds aggressive or unappealing.You may also cross your arms over your chest if you’re feeling anxious, or are
lacking confidence. Crossing arms is a common position to adopt when
you’re amongst strangers and is often seen in lifts, public meetings, when
waiting to board an airplane, or anywhere that you may feel insecure, appre-
hensive, or intimidated.People who say that they cross their arms over their chests because it’s com-
fortable are right. Any gesture that matches the corresponding attitude feels
comfortable. So, if someone feels negative, self-protective, or in any way
uneasy, even if he’s not consciously aware of these feelings, it is quite
common for that person to cross his arms. If he feels relaxed and is enjoying
himself, he adopts an opened-arm position that reflects his attitude.The meaning of the message is in the receiver. Studies show that people react
negatively to the crossed-arm position. Even if you’re comfortable with your
arms crossed over your chest, people observing you are going to interpret
your attitude as defensive. So, unless you want to show that you disagree or
don’t want to engage, find other positions for your arms.If you adopt the crossed arm position when you’re in a group of people you
soon notice other members of the group adopting the same pose. Although
influencing people into assuming this position is easy, you may discover that
it’s difficult to achieve open communication when the majority of the group
has adopted this stance.126 Part III: The Trunk: Limbs and Roots