If you’re having a conversation with someone who you find appealing, allow
your hand to touch his slightly while you speak. Also, when you’re intro-
duced and shake hands you may let your hand rest slightly longer in his than
you normally would do. If you’re uninterested in or are repulsed by the
person, your touch is brief and uncommitted.Touching plays an important part in superstitious rituals. The tradition of
touching wood after making a boasting statement stems from the ancient act
of touching the sacred oak to appease the god Thor. Touching iron for good
luck comes from the archaic belief that iron holds magical and supernatural
powers.Creating a bond ..................................................................................
Consciously make physical contact with someone and you immediately
establish a connection between the two of you. Parents touch their children,
lovers touch their partners, and doctors touch their patients. The power of
touch is binding.Engaging with other people through physical contact is something at which
politicians and business people with sophisticated political skills are particu-
larly adept. The double-handed handshake is a favourite of anyone seeking to
connect with another person. By using your right hand for shaking and your
left hand for touching the other person’s hand, lower arm, or elbow, you
demonstrate your desire to bond with that person.The next time you shake hands with someone you’ve just been introduced to,
lightly touch him on his hand or elbow with your left hand as you repeat his
name. This creates a positive, memorable impression by making that person
feel valued. Plus, repeating the person’s name helps you to remember it.Touching between individuals of equal rank and status occurs regularly.
Patting a friend on the back, giving a chum a hug, or squeezing a colleague on
the arm, are gestures that convey friendship and camaraderie.At Hugo’s annual rugby dinner the players were jostling about, punching one
another on the arm, slapping each other on the back, and draping their arms
over each other’s shoulders. The young men were comfortable with this level
of reciprocal touching between equals. When the coaches spoke to the players
they were seen patting the team members on the back, initiating handshakes,
and occasionally squeezing their upper arms. At no time did any of the players
touch their coaches in a similar fashion. Unconsciously, the players were exer-
cising their symbolic right to impose themselves on one another. In contrast,
they demonstrated respect for their coaches’ authority by treating them in a
different manner.134 Part III: The Trunk: Limbs and Roots