The space invader
Whether you’re pulling someone into your territory when shaking hands or
you’re invading her space by plunging your arm into her terrain, a power play
is taking place and you hold the power (see Figure 9-13).In the first instance, you propel your arm forward, forcefully grip the
receiver’s extended hand, and simultaneously go into a quick reverse thrust,
yanking her into your space and huddling over the handshake until you’re
ready to let it go. If you pull someone into your personal space you create a
handshake on your terms. You’re in charge.Be aware of the amount of force you apply or you may find the other person
falling on top of you as you pull her in. That’s what you call getting the rela-
tionship off on the wrong foot!If you invade the other person’s territory you extend your arm fully, forcing
the other person to retreat back into her domain. Her arm ends up in a
cramped position while your extended arm fills her space.Figure 9-12:
Intimacy
and control
increase as
the left hand
moves up
the arm.160 Part III: The Trunk: Limbs and Roots