To gain the left side advantage to make yourself appear as if you’re calling the
shots, position yourself to the right of the other person. If you want to
increase your power play, place your left hand on your colleague’s back while
shaking hands. Although the other person may feel annoyed by your obvious
power play, you can smile warmly, knowing that you’ve got the advantage.Displacing Your Energy ...............................................................................
If you ever noticed yourself drumming your fingers, pulling your earlobe,
touching your face, or scratching your head when you haven’t got an itch,
you’re experiencing displacement activities. Displacement activities are easy
to spot because they are the small, inconsequential gestures you make when
you’re feeling inner turmoil or frustration.People who are experiencing frustration or internal conflict often feel the
need to take action. If they struggle to find an appropriate action to address
the source of annoyance they fill the void with meaningless activities to keep
themselves busy.Drumming for relief ............................................................................
If you’re in a meeting and someone’s drumming her fingers on the table, pay
attention. This person is telling you something. Bored, frustrated, or even
irritated; the percussionist is impatient.Stephen works for an international law firm. He recently found out that his
colleagues call him ‘Thumper’ because of his constant finger drumming
during meetings. Stephen reveals his state of mind by the tempo of his finger
tapping. When he’s bored he drums the four fingers of his right hand in quick
succession. When he’s thoughtfully considering a suggestion he quietly taps
his middle finger. When he’s prepared to conclude the meeting he knocks his
knuckles on the table. Without saying a word his colleagues know what
Stephen’s thinking.Fiddling for comfort ..........................................................................
Notice what you do the next time you feel anxious. Chances are you’ll fiddle
with an object. You may jangle your keys, twist a ring on your finger, or adjust
your clothes. You may also touch yourself by picking at your nails, tugging
your earlobe, rubbing your cheek, or running your fingers through your hair.
The purpose of these actions is to ease any nervousness you may be feeling.162 Part III: The Trunk: Limbs and Roots