ambiguity, or revealing a lack of confidence. Knotted ankles are definitely not
a sign of someone who’s feeling confident and in command.
People who say they’re comfortable sitting with their ankles tightly crossed
probably are. Their bodies are reflecting their mental state, and there’s no
tension between the two. Whether they confess that they’re comfortable
because their actions are reflecting their attitude – which according to the
signs may be nervous, anxious, or defensive – depends on how comfortable
they are in admitting their emotional state.
To appear more open, confident, and approachable, uncross your ankles.
When Shaun first began running training sessions he was quite nervous
standing in front of a large group, many of whom he didn’t know personally.
When he watched himself on videotape he discovered that he was standing
with his ankles crossed in front of him. As he moved across the stage, like a
figure skater, he would push off with one foot, crossing one leg behind, or in
front of, the other. As a result of seeing himself in action, Shaun was able to
adjust his behaviour. Now when he walks across the stage he moves with pur-
pose, placing one foot in front of the other.
Observe the differences in how men and women sit in the crossed ankle posi-
tion. Men often clench their fists, resting them on their knees, or tightly grip
the arms of the chair. Their legs are splayed, exposing their open crotch.
Women tend to hold their knees together, with their feet often placed to one
side, their hands resting in their laps side by side, or with one placed on top
of the other.
The Army expression ‘keeping your heels locked’ means that, if a matter is
not your personal concern, you aren’t to disclose what you don’t have to.
Twitching, flicking, or going in circles .............................................
If you suspect someone of lying to you, or holding back information, look at
his feet. Research on deception reveals that a person who’s asked to lie
shows more signs of fraud below the waist than above. Are his feet twitching,
flicking, or going around in circles?
Hand and eye movements are under conscious control. Because they are
close to your brain and a main source of communication, you’re more aware
of what they’re doing than you are of your legs and feet which, no matter how
short you are, are still quite far from your brain.
Leaking information isn’t restricted to deception. For example, people show-
ing interest in another person use their bodies to reveal what their minds are
thinking and their mouths mustn’t tell. Say that a man is speaking to a woman
Chapter 10: Standing Your Ground 175