Cooperating.........................................................................................
When you work on a task with another person, or if you find that you and
someone else think along the same lines, you’re more than likely to find your-
selves sitting side by side. Most people intuitively sit in this configuration
when they’re working on a joint project with someone else. This position
enables you to look easily at your partner. You can also reflect the other person’s
behaviour from this close position. You want to ensure that the person you’re
sitting next to doesn’t feel that his space is being invaded.
When you introduce a third person to the cooperating position, the position in
which you place yourself in relation to the other two determines how every-
one at the table is perceived. By sitting next to the first person in the cooper-
ating position, or at his side with the corner of the table between you, you’re
showing the new person that you and the first person are aligned. From this
position you can speak and ask questions of the third person on the first
person’s behalf. In sales, this position is called ‘siding with the opposition’.
Whenever you’re influencing people, you should always aim to see their point
of view, to make them feel at ease in your company, and to ensure that they
feel good about working with you. You gain more cooperation by sitting in
the corner, or cooperative position, than you do by placing yourself in the
combative position, in which conversations are shorter and sharper.
Combating and defending .................................................................
Placing yourself across a table from another person sets up a barrier and a
hostile, or defensive, atmosphere. The barrier serves as a foundation upon
which each side can take a firm stand and argue their point. Standing or sit-
ting directly face to face with someone else indicates that a confrontation
may be imminent. (When animals attack one another, they come in head to
head.) A person under attack throws up a shield to defend himself. It can be
as subtle as folding your hands at chest level, or as blatant as putting a Star
Wars defence mechanism into action.
In a business scenario, sitting directly across the table from another person
implies a competitive atmosphere. In a social situation, such as at a dinner
party or in a restaurant, this position is viewed positively because it enables
conversation.
If you want to reprimand someone in a work environment, or demonstrate that
you’re in charge, sit directly across your desk or table from the other person.
Research shows that managers who don’t use their desks as a barrier are per-
ceived as active listeners, fair-minded, and unlikely to show favouritism.
Chapter 12: Territorial Rights and Regulations 205