Getting acquainted with the environment
One way of demonstrating that the space you’re in belongs to you, is to make
contact with an item in the area. Say, for example, that you’ve been invited to
speak at an event attended by many influential people, some of whom you
know, others you don’t. You want to appear confident and in control. To do
that, follow these suggestions for getting comfortable in the space and
making it your own:
Walk into the room where the negotiation is taking place as if you own
the space. Move with purpose and authority.Pull your chair out and sit down without waiting to be invited.
Place your notes and pen in front of you confidently and authoritatively.Establish eye contact and open the discussion clearly and concisely.Tracy is a highly qualified and respected lawyer. Practising for her partner-
ship interview, Tracy felt nervous, awkward, as though she didn’t belong. She
fidgeted with her clothes, avoided eye contact, and played with her jewellery.
I began to shift her behaviour by asking her to practise entering the room
and taking her seat at the table in front of the imaginary panel. Before Tracy
sat, she let her hands rest on the top of the chair’s back as if staking her
claim to that seat. By making contact with this object, she established a
sense of ownership with the room. Her nerves steadied, and she gained an
appearance of confidence and credibility.
Choosing a good seat
Arrive at the meeting early enough so that you can pick your spot. Sitting
facing the door gives you the upper hand. Research shows that people seated
with their backs to the door experience stress, increased blood pressure, and
shallow, rapid breathing as the body prepares itself for a possible attack from
behind. Save this weak and defensive position for your competition.
Give yourself the stronger position and sit facing into the room with your
back away from the door.
Filling your space
People who fill their space look more commanding and in control. This is a
challenge for small or slim people, who can be devoured by space. The fol-
lowing tips can help people of smaller stature appear more in command of
their territory:
Hold your elbows slightly out from your sides, when standing, or sitting.
(People who hold their arms close to their bodies look subservient,
timid, and fearful.)Chapter 14: Interviewing, Influencing, and Playing Politics 241