When seated behind a table, lean forward, letting your hands rest lightly
on the table. Alternatively, allow your elbows to rest on the table, point-
ing out to the sides, or place your lower arms on the table’s surface.
Whatever you do, never pull your arms in close by your sides at a meet-
ing. To do so reduces your stature and diminishes your influence.Big people also need to consider the amount of space they fill. Large people
lolling about, ambling along, and spreading themselves across their space,
can be perceived as invasive. This doesn’t mean that you should draw your
shoulders and arms in towards yourself. Just be aware that you take up more
space than smaller people and that you may need to adjust your position to
allow others in. To avoid overwhelming others with your large presence, con-
tain your gestures, making them concise and precise.Displaying confidence........................................................................
The way you stand, the way you sit, your gestures and expressions, the
actions you choose, and the way you perform them, all reveal who you are
and what you’re about. Captains of industry, masters of the universe, and
doyennes of the theatre instinctively know, and are well trained, in projecting
a confident countenance. With eyes clear and focused, posture erect, and
facial muscles engaged, they reveal a look of positive expectancy.Avoiding nervous gestures................................................................
The person who fidgets and fiddles, picks at his fingernails, and scratches his
head, face, neck, and/or chest, is displaying nervous gestures and giving the
game away. It doesn’t take a microscope to see that that person is in a real
state and is creating a nervous environment around himself. Spend too much
time with someone who’s demonstrating nervous behaviour and you start
feeling uncomfortable as well.You can’t avoid gesturing nervously unless you’re aware that you do it. Watch
yourself on video, ask a trusted colleague for feedback, and pay attention to
yourself as if you’re an outside observer. Once you recognise the behaviour,
you can do something about it.Replace a nervous gesture with another action. Someone fiddling with a pen
should put it down unless it’s needed for writing. Let your hands rest on the
desk, or table, in front of you. If you don’t have a surface that your hands can
lie on, rest them in your lap. If you find yourself picking at your fingernails,
swap that action for another. Pick up a pen to take a note, putting it back
down when you’ve finished. Shift position in your sitting or standing position.242 Part IV: Putting the Body into Social and Business Context