else at the table directly in the eye, and says ‘skoal’. Although the toast has
its variations throughout the Nordic lands, the main point to remember is
that direct and prolonged eye contact throughout the ritual is required.I hold round-table discussions in the office for trainees to an international
accountancy firm who represent many different cultures. Many Asian partici-
pants say that looking at a superior, or colleague, in the eye is difficult because
that suggests arrogance and disrespect on the part of the younger person. On
the other hand, global business culture expects eye contact, so they need to
practise until they feel comfortable with eye contact. Conversely, if westerners
are going to a culture where eye contact is restricted, they need to experience
how it feels to create a relationship by averting their eyes, usually downward,
with clients, superiors, and colleagues.Inge and Jesper, friends from Denmark, invited us to their home for a long
weekend. On Saturday night they hosted a formal dinner party for the four of
us and ten other friends. Throughout the meal toasts were frequently made.
Every time our generous and gracious host raised his glass he looked each
guest directly in the eye as we raised our glasses in response. Not one of us
failed to engage direct eye-to-eye contact with Inge and Jesper, as well as with
the other guests at the table. Fortunately, we only toasted once during the
serving of the hot food.Adapting Your Style for Clear Communication ........................................
If someone were to ask, ‘Why do I have to adapt, why can’t they?’, I hear
Aretha Franklin singing ‘R-E-S-P-E-C-T, oh, what it means to me!’ Many people
can’t understand why they should have to adapt their behaviour to communi-
cate successfully with people whose traditions and cultures are different
from theirs. Take a moment to consider what that thinking leads to.What may seem strange to you is perfectly normal for someone else. For
example, North American and Europe are continents where it’s customary for
men and women to socialise both individually and in groups. Friendship
between men and women isn’t strange or unorthodox. This is not the case in
Muslim countries, however, where men greet other male friends with a hand-
shake, an embrace, and touching one’s cheek to the other. When they’re
amongst their friends, Muslim women’s behaviour is warm and affectionate.
And never the twain shall meet. The men stick with the men and the women
hang out with the women.Chapter 15: Crossing the Cultural Divide 255