Body Language

Playing by the Local Rules: Eye Contact ...................................................

In most Western countries, eye contact is a necessary ingredient for demon-

strating respect, yet throughout much of Asia the opposite is true. When you

give someone from the Far East what you think is an honest look in the eye,

they interpret the gesture as rude, showing a lack of respect, and feel person-

ally affronted.

When conversing with someone from the Far East, avoid making eye contact,

except for an occasional glance to make sure that they’re still there. Then,

quickly avert your eyes again.

Always watch for how a person gestures. The manner in which the action is

performed adds to the meaning of the gesture. Maria, for example, was work-

ing in Japan with a Japanese colleague, preparing a client presentation. She

asked him if he was pleased with the work they had done together. He told

her that, yes, he was. A couple of days later Maria heard through the

grapevine that her colleague wasn’t happy with the result and wanted to

rework the presentation. When she asked him why he’d told her that it was

all right when it wasn’t, he replied: ‘But I told you with sad eyes, Maria.’

In Nordic countries, Germany, and Great Britain, eye contact is important for

demonstrating sincerity and trust. If you’re ever invited to a Scandinavian’s

home for dinner, be prepared for some serious eye contact. After dinner, and

often during the meal, your host raises her glass, looks you, and everyone

254 Part IV: Putting the Body into Social and Business Context

A potpourri of local customs

When visiting Asian and Middle Eastern soci-

eties only use your right hand for greeting and

eating. The left hand is considered the ‘unclean

hand’. It would be highly insulting to use your

left hand in any greeting, and vulgar to use it for

eating.

Muslims consider it rude to point at anyone or

anything.

Asians and Arabs consider the feet to be

unclean. When visiting Arab and Asian countries

be sure to sit with your feet flat on the floor. To

show the soles of your shoes is highly insulting.

Never prop your feet up on a piece of furniture

such as a desk or a chair, or cross them over

your knee.

In Thailand you must never step on a doorsill

entering someone’s home. Thais believe that

friendly spirits live below.

Some Asian cultures, including Thailand and

India, consider the head to be a sacred area

where the soul resides. To touch the head of a

Thai or an Indian, even if a child or a close

friend, risks terminating the relationship.