258 Part IV: Putting the Body into Social and Business Context
By observing people’s body language, you’re on the inside track to knowing
what’s going on between them. Whether you’re observing participants in a
business meeting, a family negotiation, or watching a couple in a restaurant,
by being aware of how the people position and move their bodies, you may
end up understanding more about their relationship than they do.Here’s a list of the telltale, mainly facial, expressions for different emotions:Happiness:Lower eyelids are slightly raised, crinkling around the outer
edges of the eyes, eyes sometimes narrow; the corners of the lips move
up and out and lips may part to expose upper teeth; cheeks are raised
with an apple-like bulge; C-like wrinkles pull up from corners of raised
lips to the sides of the nose. Body is open and forward moving.
Surprise:The eyebrows zoom upwards in a curve, wrinkles spread
across the forehead; eyes open wide showing their whites; jaw drops;
mouth slackens. Head hunches into raised shoulders.Sadness:Inner ends of the eyebrows rise; eyes appear moist; mouth
drops at the corners and the face appears limp; lips may quiver.
Shoulders hunch forward; body is slack.
Fear:Similar to surprise with subtle differences. Raised eyebrows are
pulled together (not as much curve in the brow as in surprise). Forehead
furrows in centre (when surprised, furrow carries across the brow).
Whites of the eyes show; lips are pulled back; mouth is slightly opened.
Shoulders are hunched, with a backward movement to the body.Anger:Eyebrows pulled down and inward; vertical crease between the
brows; eyes narrow and take on a hard, staring look. Lips close tightly,
and turn down at the corners; nostrils may flare. Hands are clenched,
body is forward moving.Be subtle when watching other people. If they feel they’re being scrutinised,
they may become antagonistic toward you.James, a highly respected and acclaimed prize winning scientist, is quite a bit
older than his current wife. At a private dinner party held in his honour he
was invited to speak informally while coffee was being served. Earlier in the
day he had been the guest speaker at a luncheon meeting of colleagues and
supporters. At that time he spoke with reasonable authority and clarity. In
public view, his wife looked at him adoringly, laughed at his jokes, and led the
applause. By the end of the evening James was tired. His stories rambled, his
words were mumbled, and his jokes fell flat. As he spoke, his wife whispered
and giggled with her young, handsome dinner partner, occasionally casting a
glance towards her husband and pointing to her watch as if to tell him that it
was time for him to wrap it up. When he finally sat down, his wife scowled at
him across the table before turning again to the man on her right and resum-
ing their intimate discussion. By the way James’s wife behaved throughout
the day and evening, it was clear that their relationship was both complex
and complicated.