Drawing Conclusions from What You Observe ........................................
To read body language signals accurately you have to consider the combina-
tion of gestures, whether they match what the person’s saying, and the con-
text in which you’re seeing them. For example, when someone scratches his
nose, that’s not necessarily an immediate indication of guilt. He just may
have an itchy nose. If, however, his eyes dart about, he’s chewing his lip, his
legs are crossed, and one arm is tightly folded over his body, you’re safe in
betting that he’s in a negative state.The following sections explain how to go about drawing thoughtful conclusions.Looking at the sum total of the gestures.........................................
When observing body language watch for all the behaviours. Making a judge-
ment based on one gesture may lead you down the wrong path. If the sides of
a person’s lips are lifted up, don’t assume he’s happy. Look to see what his
eyes are doing. If he’s got a vertical line running between his brows and is
leaning forward, he’s showing you that he’s interested, not angry.A smile is not just a smile and a kiss is not just a kiss, no matter what the
song says. The sides of the mouth going up while the sides of the eyes pull
down gives two meanings. The mouth says happy and the eyes say sad.
When in doubt, trust the eyes.If you want to be believed make sure that your body language accurately
reflects what you’re saying. People always believe what they see more than
what they hear.Drumming fingers can indicate boredom, but can also indicate anxiety, ner-
vousness, and other types of stress. Staring into space with dull eyes says
he’s bored. Staring into space with engaged eyes tells you that he’s listening.
Crossed arms across his chest may indicate that he’s feeling cold, or that he’s
adverse to what you’re saying. Observe the gestures in context. When in
doubt of a person’s attitude, look to see how his body’s positioned.If you want to tell a person’s mood look to the following for clues.Signalling stress
One way of telling when someone is feeling stressed is to observe his face
and hands. If he’s rubbing his eyes or the bridge of his nose, holding his
head, or stroking his neck, you can bet he’s feeling under pressure. When you
respond in a way that relieves that pressure, he’s forever grateful.Chapter 16: Reading the Signs 259