Accepting Flaky Behavior Having High Expectations Changing to Please Her Maintaining Self-ConfidenceSee how each pair is connected by the value placed on your self-worth
versus your value of her? It‘s not that attraction lowers her value, but it‘s that
attraction comes from a self-value that‘s NOT below hers.
Acting as if she‘s more important than you leads to affection.
Acting as if she is important—but that YOU‘RE AT LEAST AS IMPORTANT—
creates attraction.
This important distinction between how you value yourself relative to an
attractive woman is at the root of a lot of wuss behavior that could be
attractive behavior. Gift giving and romance are a great example, so let‘s get
into detail on them.
Romance
Buying Gifts Is Formulaic, Not Romantic
To illustrate this idea, let‘s compare buying gifts to surprise romance, such
as taking her out to restaurants all the time with cooking a great meal
yourself.
When a guy buys dinner for a girl, he‘s trying to say that she‘s valuable to
him and wants to be valuable to her. But the impact of both these messages is
watered-down because every guy does this—especially with attractive women.
She can always find another wuss to buy her dinner. She can always get
ego-boosts from wusses. The problem is that having her ego boosted by a
wuss doesn‘t say much.
Cooking a romantic dinner instead achieves two effects spending money
doesn‘t. First, you‘ve directly spent time on her instead of paying someone
else. Second, you‘ve displayed a desirable ability—cooking. Occasional
romance is much more personal and thus a more powerful way to show how
you value her.
A real man doesn‘t give free hand-outs, so when she earns romance it says
a lot. Gifts and occasional romance are both intended to tell her she‘s
valuable. Since gifts require less effort than romance, romance will have more
significance.
Average gift-giving just says, ―I want to please you, so I‘m taking away
from myself to give you something.‖ Romance says, ―Because you‘ve pleased