Attraction Isn't A Choice

Updating Patterns

“At any time in the past people have had views of how the universe works
which was for them definitive, whether it was based on myths or research, and
at any time those views they held were altered by changes in the body of
knowledge.”
— "The Day the Universe Changed" by James Burke

Let‘s look at some specific subconscious patterns almost all guys at least
started out with, and which most guys carry around their whole lives:

 Freaking out and getting nervous when attracted to a woman

 Feeling anxious at the idea of losing a woman (her leaving)

 Feeling jealousy

These are adaptive strategies left over as "Strategies for Dummies".
Nervousness, also known as fear, around uncertain situations in which we care
about the outcome serves us in some areas, but it shoots us in the foot with
women.

These pre-programmed defaults act unless they‘re replaced with better
ones. Just like you can change fear of meeting new people, learn a new
language or a faster route to work, you can update these strategies too.

The keys to ―updating your strategies‖ are:

 Self-image. The clearer your self-image, the clearer you‘ll see what

you can change. The simpler it will be to change because you have a

good mental construct to go in and apply change to.

 Knowing what you really want. You need what is known as a Definite

Major Purpose to guide your change.

 Believing that it's possible—belief in success is also a prerequisite.

 Commitment to your outcomes. You have to care deeply enough about

what‘s at stake to make difficult choices, make a strong effort, and

take the risks necessary to achieve eventual success.

 Understanding the dynamics and psychology of your mind. Remember

that there‘s no logical reason for these feelings; they‘re simply

subconscious associations affecting our conscious.

 Experience. You have to go through the events that the patterns are

tied to so you can see the real data in order to start applying your

changes.