Encyclopedia of Leadership

METACOMMUNICATION SCHEMATIC

The exact wording is situational, but there are certain characteristics of an effective invitation

to metacommunicate:

✔ A metacommunication starts by discontinuing communication at the current deadlock

(the content level). Note that the behavior and frustration you are displaying yourself

and seeing in the other person are only symptoms of something more fundamental.

✔ Be careful about ascribing negative motives to another person’s behavior. People have

habitual ways of dealing with situations, and they are probably not conscious of their

own behavior or motives.

✔ Metacommunication invites the other to discuss the issue at a higher level (the process

level). Discuss the communication difficulty, and establish some communication

guidelines or principles for dealing with the disagreement at hand.

✔ The assumption behind metacommunication is that there is goodwill on both sides,

that difficulties are due to unclear assumptions and lack of clarity of process, rather

than to any planned or intentional attempt to trick the other person.

HOW TO USE THIS LEADERSHIP TOOL

“Conversational style isn’t something extra, added on like frosting on a cake. It’s the very stuff of which the

communication cake is made.”

—Deborah Tannen, THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT

Most leaders will have plenty of opportunity to use this tool. When communication starts to

break down in a workgroup, for example, it can deteriorate quite quickly. It can begin to feel

as if every conversation is tense and ends in frustration. This downward spiral can often be

reversed if one of the parties to these conversations stands back and identifies what is hap-

pening in terms of the communication process itself. This is done by separating whatis being

discussed (the content level) from howit is being discussed (the process level).

WEB WORKSHEET

Metacommunication doesn’t always work, but when it works, it works wonders! Use the work-

sheet provided to plan metacommunications to improve any difficult communication that

you are currently or may soon be involved with. This might include:

1. situations in which you are expected to mediate disagreements within teams or work-
   groups;

246 SECTION 8 TOOLS FORCOMMUNICATION

----------------------Process level



______________

Content level