12.6
THE 5 CS: ESCALATING
CONFRONTATION JUDICIOUSLY
Inspired by David Irvine, William Purkey, and Abe Wagner.Leaders continually find themselves having to resolve people or performance problems,
whether the person is taking inappropriate action or failing to take action. When facing peo-
ple problems, you can choose to confront those involved; stop dealing with them, or at least
minimize your dealings with them; or accept their behavior. This is easier said than done, how-
ever. This tool provides you with a number of logical, easy-to-follow steps for carrying out
these alternatives. The five steps are:
These steps are incremental in nature, providing you with guidance for upping the ante
with each successive step if the previous step failed to achieve the desired results. Depending
on the importance and urgency of the situation, the strength of your relationship with the
other person, and how strongly you feel about the other person’s behavior, you may choose to
skip some of these steps.
378 SECTION 12 TOOLS FORLEADINGRELATIONSHIPS
Concern
Decide whether
this is a concern
or an annoyance.Decide whether the other person’s behavior is a concernthat needs to be dealt with, or an
annoyance that should be overlooked. If you feel you need to deal with the person’s behavior, ask
yourself, “Is there some action I can take to change or improve the situation?” If your answer is
“no,” then make the choice to let go emotionally. If you can’t emotionally let go, then disengage,
or in some way minimize your interdependency with this person. If the answer is “yes,” move to
step 2, confer.➟
Confer
Raise concern
directly with
other person.Raise the concern directly with the other person, using these guidelines.- Pay attention to the importance of timing; choose a time when you think the other person will
be willing and able to hear your perspective. Get the other’s permission to raise the issue:
“Would you be willing to hear some constructive feedback about how you handled that
situation?” - Do this in private. Be clear and direct.
- Describe, don’t evaluate. Describe what you saw or heard; do not judge or label the behavior.
- Don’t assume motive. Don’t assume that you know the motive behind the behavior.
- If you honestly can, give three positives and a request: “You’re always on time for meetings,
you contribute openly, and you add a lot of fun to our meetings. My concern, however, is with
how you ... .”
➟
➟
Consult
Raise the stakes.If you still haven’t achieved the desired result, it’s time to raise the stakes one level. You are now
discussing two issues. One is the original problem that still exists; the other is that your request
➟(made when conferring) has been ignored.
➟Concern ➠ Confer ➠ Consult ➠ Confront ➠ Conclude
➟