OCTOBER 11
He who cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which
he must pass himself.
—GEORGE HERBERTSometimes we have suffered terrible injustice at the hands
of those who have died. If our whole experience with such
a person has been bad, we may need resolution from other
kinds of feelings, but sadness may not be first on the list!
Now the person has gone. We are left with unfinished
business in our hands and we don’t know what to do.
We may need professional help—a counselor or therapist
who will guide us through this swamp of ambivalence, or
maybe just a friend to talk with. We, too, are not perfect, but
that doesn’t make us unworthy, unlovable, or unloved.
But, more for our own sake than for the reputation of the
one who has died, it is essential that, to the extent we are
able, we forgive the wrongs done to us.
A word of caution: to forgive is not to gloss over or to
excuse. If there have been real wounds, they need real atten-
tion. Chances are we will know from the relief we feel, the
lifting of a burden, when that forgiveness and reconciliation
have occurred.
To forgive is to be freed of a burden.