OCTOBER 10
In our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop
upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will,
comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.
—AESCHYLUSGrief engulfs us, takes over our lives, renders us impotent.
What are we to do?
Wait. Get through one day. Then another. And another.
We will feel as though we are only “going through the
motions,” but it is important to go through the motions.
We are, in a strange way, relearning that we are alive.
We are alive, functioning, and can do what we need to
do. But just barely.
Then one day we’re surprised (because how could it be
so?) to realize that some of our energy has come back.
How did it happen? We didn’t expect it, didn’t even par-
ticularly want it to happen, because we had no expectation
of anything happening. The important thing had already
passed—the loss of our loved one.
But there it is. And our step lightens. And we begin to
look around.
For all evidence of life where I felt only death, let me be grateful.