A FINAL WORD

A final word for you—the anxious reader. There is no one for whom
attachment theory has more to offer than men and women with an
anxious attachment style. Although you suffer the consequences of a
bad match and an activated attachment system more intensely, you
also stand to gain the most from understanding how the attachment
system works, which relationships have the capacity to make you
happy, and which situations can make you a nervous wreck. We have
witnessed people who have managed to walk away from loneliness to
find the companionship they longed for, using the principles outlined in
this chapter. We’ve also witnessed people who have been in long-term
relationships that brought out the worst in them, but understanding and
utilizing attachment principles marked the beginning of a new phase of
their relationship—a more secure phase.