Attached

In the second part of these studies, researchers distracted the
avoidants by giving them another task to perform—like solving a
puzzle or responding to another cue—while the word recognition task
was going on. In these situations, the avoidants reacted to words
related to their own attachment worries (“separation,” “loss,” “death”)
just as quickly as other people did. Distracted by another task, their
ability to repress lessened and their true attachment feelings and
concerns were able to surface.
The experiments show that although you may be avoidant, your
attachment “machinery” is still in place—making you just as vulnerable
to threats of separation. Only when your mental energy is needed
elsewhere and you are caught off guard, however, do these emotions
and feelings emerge.
These studies also tell us that avoidants such as Susan aren’t such
free spirits after all; it is the defensive stance that they adopt that
makes them seem that way. In Susan’s account, notice how she
makes a point of putting down those who depend on their significant
others. Other studies have found that faced with a stressful life event,
such as divorce, the birth of a severely disabled child, or military
trauma, avoidants’ defenses are quick to break down and they then
appear and behave just like people with an anxious attachment style.