- Dan’s sister comes to look after Dan and Shannon’s kids while
the two go out for some much needed time together. When they
return, Shannon goes straight up to bed while Dan chats with
his sister. Later Dan comes up to their room, fuming. “My sister
is doing us a huge favor by babysitting, the least you could do is
say hello to her!” In response Shannon says, “Did I really not
even say hello? I’m so spaced out. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.”
Shannon’s reaction is:- Secure
- Insecure
Insecure tactics Shannon used:Secure tactics Shannon could use:Answer: Secure. Shannon avoids many insecure hazards. She
refrains from generalizing the conflict. She doesn’t react defensively
and resort to counterattacks. She doesn’t return tit for tat. She
maintains focus on the problem at hand and responds to it and to it
alone. This is not to say that Dan’s anger will disappear; in fact, he
most probably will remain irritated. But Shannon has managed to take
the edge off his anger and avoid escalation. Her response shows that
reacting securely to conflict is not rocket science; it doesn’t require
amazing verbal or psychological skills. It can often come down to
simple but sincere apology.