phone (protest behavior) when she eventually did call. All of which
would have been very destructive for the relationship.

Protest Behavior—Letting Your Attachment

System Get the Best of You

Excessive attempts to reestablish contact:

• Calling, texting, or e-mailing many times, waiting for a
  phone call, loitering by your partner’s workplace in hopes
  of running into him/her.
  Withdrawing:


• Sitting silently “engrossed” in the paper, literally turning
  your back on your partner, not speaking, talking with
  other people on the phone and ignoring him/her.
  Keeping score:


• Paying attention to how long it took them to return your
  phone call and waiting just as long to return theirs;
  waiting for them to make the first “make-up” move and
  acting distant until such time. When Ryan decided not to
  leave a message for Shauna after she screened his
  calls, he was keeping score (“If she’s not answering my
  calls, I won’t leave her a message”).
  Acting hostile:


• Rolling your eyes when they speak, looking away, getting
  up and leaving the room while they’re talking (acting
  hostile can transgress to outright violence at times).
  Threatening to leave:


• Making threats—“We’re not getting along, I don’t think I
  can do this anymore,” “I knew we weren’t really right for