E The Holistic View 145
confidence, arrogance, hiding a fat belly, and much more depending
on context. Look at the photo with my bio on the back cover—
what does it mean? More importantly than what it means in this
case is the effect I am after: a jaundiced eye projecting mistrust.
Never mind the fact that I was thinking what a nice job the photog-
rapher, Mr. Dougherty, was doing. This closed arm posture hides
all of that and sends a different signal. Knowledge similar to this is
important in review, but even more so in using these tools offensively.
Other ways of blocking include closing the elbows to the side,
tightly buttoning clothing, barricading oneself behind a holy symbol
such as a cross, and turning to oblique angles. Americans typically
think that facing a person straight on while talking signifies honesty.
Ironically, given a choice, two American men will probably not sit
directly facing each other. Most will choose to sit at oblique angles.
It is a subconscious way that men convey they do not wish to
engage in confrontation. If you think in terms of the apes, facing
directly into the eyes of the alpha will likely result, at the very least,
in a demonstration of dominance. So, is this natural preference to
sit at an angle an echo of the ape in us? Think of the last time you
saw two American men in an altercation. Inevitably, the two square
off, face to face; the implication is that angled posture is much
friendlier. In contrast to this, it is not unusual to see two Arab men
nearly touching faces and square-on discussing details of the week-
end plans. If you’re a man, take a minute and think about your own
posture vis-á-vis other men of your own culture. If you’re a woman,
think about how you convey openness. It’s generally in the same
way that men display confrontation—face to face.