A Making It Personal 193
Symbols represent entire thoughts, so they serve as the clearest
example of the correlation between verbal and non-verbal. They
mean something specific in a particular culture and you can also
express that specific idea in words. Quite understandably, then, this
class of non-verbal is subjected to the same rules of control and
outburst as the verbal.
Occasionally, a gesture may resemble something you know, so
you assume it has the same meaning. Just as the pilot was trying to
find meaning in the false cognates, you can easily confuse yourself.
All other non-verbal communication serves the mind, however,
with little regard for the will. While the will of the young manager
says, “Yes, sir!” to the boss, his mind places him above that kind of
subservient response. The young man’s hands give him away as he
places them on his hips, similar to the young man on the cover of
this book.
You want to look at the holistic view of an individual’s body
language while you notice the bits and pieces. If he projects an
angry mood overall, but you see a playfulness about the eyes, what
is the message?
If I were to see this in a very intelligent man, I would take it as
a danger signal. The same signal coming from a middle-aged woman
can mean something entirely different. Same picture, but different
brushstrokes on the canvas. The only way you can be sure is by
baselining the individual. For example, I may know that the woman’s
normal pattern relies on a ritualistic harshness when she’s angry,
but in this case, I see a playfulness to her eye and a softening of
features. I may have a chance to win this one, I conclude; it is all in
how I play it.